i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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