I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
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It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
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his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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