so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
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