this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
