O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
