There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
