there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
