id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
