chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
