My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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