oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Randomize
