Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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