Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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