White coat. Heels.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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