It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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