She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize