Cold hands, warm shart.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
