I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
