Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I just had sex on a roof
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
