Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
