do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
