I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
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