The maid of honor just puked.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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