I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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