I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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