guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
