Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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