UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
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