You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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