I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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