guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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