Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize