you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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