no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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