wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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