took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
My dad just said "fuck circus"
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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