My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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