i just had sex bonerless
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
