so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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