New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
