piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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