So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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