If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
