doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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