In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
it was like his penis was on wheels.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
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