"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
