as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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