He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
