After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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