Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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