Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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