How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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