And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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