If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
