I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize